“What most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things.” Unknown

“It is when we all play safe that we create a world of utmost insecurity.” Dag Hammarskjold

I love people. Oh, like most folks, I need to get away sometimes, so I love Thanksgiving break and a chance to get off the ferris wheel of a very intense routine of life that is also surrounded by people. And then there is the social media world with all those relationships (hint: if you think social media relationships are only “virtual,” you do not understand social media).

People matter.  I love creating times to spend with people without taking away from those that matter most, i.e., my family.  The past few weeks have reminded me of the importance of people, from the most dear to the most random.

Jesus loved people, so much that He came to live among us and to be one of us, even though our own sin cost Him so much. He loved sinners, and I am very glad because in my own heart I am a particularly wicked man. He loved those others did not love, and those who exercised simple faith, and even those who rejected Him.  I want to be like that, although I fail often.

We do not truly love people unless we value both loving encouragement and loving rebuke. This is a lesson only becoming clear to me in recent days. And we only love people truly if we are willing to sacrifice the things we hold dear, like our comfort, our possessions, and our time.  Recently the Lord has taught me a lot about this, and a lot about making time for people:

–I helped a young man with virtually no church background to Christ, but someone a student of mine (and a part of our young pros ministry at church) also had given much time to–believers coming together to love people.

–I had a student help me out with something today and enjoyed great fellowship while accomplishing a lot–mentor and mentee spending time together.

–I finished a 90 day commitment to working out with a great group of students (and many of us are continuing!)–friends coming together to push each other toward discipline.

–I took time to spend with Josh (going to a football game) and Hannah (going out to eat)–Dad and children time together.

–We opened our home to a precious child whom Hannah has been close to for some time–family coming together to love people.

–I will enjoy some great time doing my favorite thing on earth–gathering around the table with my family (all five now) and perhaps a couple of others to enjoy food and fellowship–mealtimes together. And my wife can REALLY cook!

–And, ironically, some of the most precious times I have had with people lately have been in a role that I have never enjoyed but have recently come to appreciate as extremely vital, that of loving rebuke. I have had several conversations, emails, and phone calls of late in which I had to speak some truth into people’s lives that was hard, and that I would rather not do. But in every case, it was for the sanctification of the recipient. I cannot just be a buddy to students and those God places in my life–I must give loving rebuke at times. So one of the most genuine, tangible, and vital ways we show love is to point out places where others need to grow, in a spirit of humility and with the motive of pushing that person to Christ, not to manipulate or coerce. It seems lately, from the message I preached on being men of God in October at SEBTS until now, that I have developed the spiritual gift of offending people, and God has seemingly used it for good. This is frightening because I know how easy it is when you are a person in authority to use that in a manipulative way. I have to constantly check my motives and ask people who know me well to watch me and rebuke me when necessary.

Gratefully most people God allows me to know well can take the correction, and see the need for it. We really must risk losing relationships sometimes in order to make them better and stronger. We must exercise tough love in the face of necessary change. I have talked with many, many people about these things over the last month. So the week of Thanksgiving I am grateful that I have learned the value of rebuke.

This is in fact one of the ways to show you really love someone. And it also exposes us to rebuke as well, and to rejection. Some people will not take rebuke and in the sea of people all around us will simply opt for a new set of friends, mentors, or teachers instead of dealing with issues hindering our growth. Escapism, however, does not mark a follower of Jesus. This approach is tragic, and I have seen remarkably gifted young adults refuse to make changes and drift along spiritually in a very stagnant state. Thankfully this is the exception, not the rule.  I have decided I will risk relationships in order to help people avoid such wasted lives.

Our culture in the church and out values kindness much more than honesty. We value sentimental love more than biblical love, and we value emotional loyalty over justice. But Jesus was full of grace AND truth, and we must be as well. Most of us have felt the sting of the legalist’s  poison, rebuking us — not to push us to Jesus but to them and their agenda. Jesus refused to be manipulated by the Pharisees. He also refused to yield to the spinelessness of liberalism.

God’s love is a robust, bold, and passionate love, a love that sees the long term, a love that will confront, but a love that also pushes one agenda: the Kingdom of God. I have much to learn about that kind of love, but I have learned something more of it lately.

Our son Josh has a saying, not original to him, but taught to me by him: Love God, Love People. I will seek to do just that, and to do that, I must not only be sweet to people, I must be honest. So if you tend to refuse correction from someone you know has godly love for you, I fear for you. I fear you will live a very lonely life. Thankfully I have seen many lately who have taken loving correction and have pressed forward for the gospel. Ironically, in so doing they have provided a rebuke to me for being hesitant to challenge those God brings into my life.

In the 1700s a movement of God swept England, brining thousands to Christ, planting churches across the land, and birthing new networks to spread the gospel. One of the central features of the movement was music, as the hymns of Charles and John Wesley among others taught the gospel by melody to a largely illiterate population.

Today we find ourselves immersed in a culture filled with songs: itunes, Pandora, and other technologies have pushed the influence of music to become one of the core values of a younger generation. At the same time, this same generation is remarkably illiterate biblically.

If we genuinely seek to reach the current generation of young adults we will have to sing the gospel to them as well as we preach its truth.

This is why for years I have worked for the most part with one band as I have spoken on college campuses, at youth camps, DNows, and the like. The Chad Lister Band has become as much a staple of my ministry as my class notes at Southeastern. In fact, Chad and my son Josh have been traveling with me from the time they were freshman in high school until today when they are college seniors.  I have watched them (and others who play with them) grow from guys who just knew they loved Jesus and music, to become remarkably capable leaders of worship in youth, college, and church-wide ministries.

You can check out Chad and his music at chadlistermusic.com.

Chad has remarkable ability musically as a pianist, guitarist, and vocalist and is becoming a very capable songwriter.  He also gets the value of the local church. In fact, Chad and his band lead worship at our home church, Richland Creek Community Church, for the two contemporary services on Sundays (we have four services) and for our Two-Four Collegiate and Young Pros ministry on Wednesdays. These men are not only musicians; they are churchmen.

Recently I spoke while the Chad Lister Band led worship for the NC Baptist state convention’s Baptist Collegiate Ministries annual gathering. One of the leaders from a NC campus told me he had been part of a worship band for years before moving into his current role. He observed how most worship bands leaned toward one pole or another. Some have great musical ability, but are not that great at leading people to worship the King. They are more about playing gigs than meeting with God. Others have great hearts for God, but are simply not that good musically. These genuinely want to help people worship, but their ability to display excellence hinders their reach. He observed how Chad and his band reflect both significant musical ability and a genuine affection for Jesus and for helping people to worship our King.

I take a band because I have worked with bands, and most drive me crazy. I have done camps with these men across America: from Missouri Super Summers to First Baptist West Palm Beach Florida; from a group of small churches at Myrtle Beach to First Baptist Woodstock at MB  in 2011.  We have done so many DNows I have lost count, from huge churches like Sevier Heights Baptist in Knoxville to our home church in Wake Forest.  We have driven through the night many times, and they have heard me incessantly repeat my dictum “if you are too big to minister at small events, you are too small to do big events.” So, we have ministered to groups of a few dozen and crowds of thousands. I have no idea how many rallies and conferences we have done, from the Florida Baptist Youth Evangelism Conference with Shane and Shane and the Barlow Girls to youth rallies so far out in the country we thought we would never find our way home.

These guys do not just love music; they love Jesus, they get the gospel, and they love students. We hang out with students, eat meals with them, and get to know them via social media. I am cutting back a lot, but I am still doing a few events with Chad and band because I so love ministering with them. I have also learned an unintended consequence of ministering with them is the impact of my son and I ministering together to a generation that is largely fatherless.

I hope to add a couple more camps summer of 2011 with them. But I want to encourage you to use them. They love the gospel. We have spent a lot of times with students sharing Christ in communities through the years.

But don’t just take my word for these guys. Here are the comments of others, including our president Danny Akin, who has them lead in chapel (Josh and Chad in particular are both students at Southeastern). Enjoy these testimonies, and shoot Chad an email at chad@chadlistermusic.com.

Dr Danny Akin, President SEBTS

“The Chad Lister Band is fantastic team that honors the Lord Jesus both in what they sing and how they do it. They are a Christ centered, gospel saturated group of champions for Christ who will bless you in their service for our Lord. I gladly and highly commend them to you.” Daniel L. Akin

Matt Kearns, Student/Collegiate Team Leader, Missouri Baptist Convention

“ Promo blurbs generally sound the same due to time and space constraints.  ‘Authentic worship…Great sound…Fun times.’  While these things are true about my experience with the Chad Lister band…they fail to capture the intangibles that have led me to utilize their gifts over and over.  They live out Spirit-driven worship, they value relationship and participation over performance and special treatment, and their genuine humility is evidenced in their flexibility and servant attitudes.  They are top shelf musically as well as personally…and you will be blessed by their leadership.”

Dave Miller, Student Pastor, Richland Creek Community Church, Wake Forest, NC

Chad Lister has been my worship leader and close friend for 3 years. He has lead me, our students, and our church to the throne of God week after week. When I want Christ-centered, God-exalting worship from humble, faithful men, the Chad Lister Band will always be my first choice.

Jason Mitchell, Student Pastor, First Baptist Church, Georgetown, SC

The Chad Lister Band loves the Lord, the church, and leading worship. They are mature, talented musicians who get the little things right that allow Christ to be the focus of their music. They are fun in concert and Christ-centered in worship.

Scott Pace, Professor, Oklahoma Baptist University

The Chad Lister Band epitomizes Christ-centered worship with God-honoring excellence. Their spiritual leadership models a genuine encounter with the Savior that engages hearts and compels others to participate.

If you want a band to sing stupid songs and act like juveniles, then you do not want this group. But if you want to help your students understand worship better, sing the gospel, and interact with people who will encourage them in their walk, I commend them to you.

This semester as is my custom I have been meeting with a group of men in a mentoring relationship. Unlike others, this group features a unique relationship in that these men not only attend SEBTS, but they are also a part of my local church.  Most also participate in the Young Professionals ministry I oversee.  All of these young men pursue their masters degree except for one.

Colby, the youngster in the group, came to me recently to talk about the group. He told me he appreciated being in it, but that he felt he did not quite fit in because of the age difference and the fact that the other men had a lot more in common. I smiled, and I told him that was by design. “Colby,” I said, “You are very social. You have no problem spending time with people your age. But you need to mature, so I intentionally put you in a group of men older than you to stretch you.” Yes, I am sneaky like that.

When we met this week I saw a change in Colby. He pulled up a chair around the table and began to participate more than in the past. He is getting it. He is being stretched. I love to see the hand of God on young men like Colby.

Then he wrote a blog. With his permission I post it here. Read the words of a college student who wants to be a man of God. I confess, part of the reason it moved me is his mention of our children Josh and Hannah. Ministry with your children matters, folks.  But I mostly want you to see a young man who wants to get away from some of the silliness so rampant in the lives of Christian young people and see how God is stretching him.  I am so proud of this young man. Enjoy.

Growing Up by Colby J. Davis

In all honesty, I’ve been discouraged by my expectations. I suppose this is because I am an approval seeker, but hear me out. I was an “A” student in high school. I graduated seventh in a class of 276, even after taking three AP courses my senior year. However, I get here and my GPA tanks. I could blame this on plenty of things, but, in reality, I saw it coming. So I’ve struggled. The bad news is that our culture has trained us to expect instant results. Therefore, everyone (including myself) would have expected this to be taken care of. Seems simple enough. The problem is that, in the last year, I discovered that I have a lot more problems than just academic discipline, and my academic standing is a mere side effect. In other words, my grades aren’t going up until I take care of everything else.

Just over a year ago, one of the most respected students on this campus looked me in the face and told me something that threw me off completely: “You still act like you’re in high school, which is understandable, since you were just there. But this is college. It’s time to grow up.” Needless to say, I was offended. I suppose you could even say I was appalled. But a couple of weeks went by, and I began to realize that he was actually right. It rocked my world. I was supposed to be the mature one in my church. I was the one who went off to seminary to do ministry. Yet, suddenly, that was out the window.

That wasn’t all. A couple weeks later, I came to the realization that I’d never dealt with my past. This was odd for me, but I realized that there’s a difference between coming to terms with your life and burying it completely. Then came the obsession with girls. Yes, you all called it. Was it fun? For the most part. Was it beneficial? Anything but. Then, the grades for fall semester came in, and it was all downhill from there. I could keep going, but I don’t have much of a desire to bore you with how sinful I am.

Needless to say, this became overwhelming. It was like pulling up a root and then realizing that this root led to a massive oak tree. Where do you even start? At first, I had no answer, but it wasn’t long before I began figure out that I needed to focus on my relationship with Christ. So I began to fight for that. Hard. This turned out to be a battle of epic proportions; an uphill struggle on a mountain covered in rattlesnakes and grizzly bears (a weird analogy, but hey, it works). The worst part? Being told that maybe I wasn’t cut out for college, based solely on my grades. Allow me to clarify that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I need to be here. Why? Because you know you’re called when you can’t possibly see yourself doing anything else.

I’m guessing you want a happy ending. I have one; it’s not what you expect though. I’m still struggling. I struggle every day. In my personal opinion, you won’t grow if you don’t struggle, and you aren’t honest if you cover it up. Jesus said that the weak will be made strong, and that the humble will be lifted up (see Matthew 5). Hence, I bleed here before you, so that I might be brought to my knees in brokenness and humility before Christ.

Here’s my happy ending: a few weeks ago, I was at NC State for our usual Tuesday night evangelism trips (which have had a phenomenally positive impact on my life, as a sidenote). That week, I was with Josh Reid, undoubtedly one of the most respected students at Southeastern. This has very little to do with him being Doc Reid’s son, and very much to do with his trademark as a solid man of God. There are very few people, in my personal experience, who can strike up a gospel conversation with a complete stranger with the same ease as Josh. And, as we were walking around campus, this same guy whom God had used to flip my world upside down a year ago turned to me and said the one of the nicest and most encouraging things that I have ever heard: “Dude, you grew up.”

So no, not everything is in order yet. I’m definitely not perfect, and if I tried to portray that here, I would be lying. Yet God is working in me with great patience, reminding me, as Doc’s daughter Hannah put it last week, that He already views me as perfect because of His redemption. My encouragement to you, then, is not to lose hope. Sometimes, it will feel like you’ve produced nothing, simply because no one sees it. God does though. He knows your heart, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Persevere; endure for the sake of the gospel. That’s what we’re called to anyway.

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Romans 12:1-2, ESV