Today marks a day many of my friends will not recognize. But those who do know the significance of this day have most likely been thinking about it for a few days.  One of the features of Facebook is the reminder of all your friends’ birthdays. You can see the list a day or two ahead, so for some dear friends of mine, and my family, today marks a day we will all stop to consider.

Today would have been Ben Kelly’s birthday.  His eighteenth.  I met Ben, or Ben-Jammin as his friends liked to call him, in July 2007 when I preached at the youth camp for Madison Street Baptist Church in Starke, Florida.  At that camp the entire youth group became very close to me, to my family, and to the band that travels with me.  The youth pastor, Jeff Stockdale, has become like my brother. Since that camp I have spoken at their DNow, a rally, and been there for several other events. They are bringing a big group to Kaleo September 19-20.

 Ben was at the camp.  You would have to know Ben to appreciate him.  Full of life, a prankster, he annoyed more than a few.  Yet he also loved more than most, and served so many. Very few I have ever met so lived life as did Ben Kelly.

 Ben and I talked a good bit, on Facebook, and via phone calls and texting. He talked seriously about coming to Southeastern to attend our college. While a bit goofy and on the surface not too serious, Ben actually was quite a thinker. He measured life well for a young man, and wanted his life to count.

 He and Hannah became especially close. They talked on the phone a half an hour every day (my father-imposed limit, but I am thinking it was only mostly followed!) for weeks in June and early July. Their special friendship was compounded by my playful threats. I THINK Ben knew I was playing J. 

 Ben got a job working with his mom at a nursing home for the summer. Perfect for Ben who so loved people.  On a Monday afternoon in early July, he and his mom were killed in a car wreck.  Just like that. Gone. Life, as the Bible says, is a vapor.

 My family joined the Madison Street family in mourning the loss of Ben and his mom.  A huge crowd came. In a service with the youth, I was struck by how many men stood so speak of Ben’s impact on their lives.  Ben Kelly lived more in 17 years than a lot of people live in 77.  He loved life and milked it for all it was worth. He loved Jesus and sought to live for Him.  We would do well to do likewise.  I have thought a lot this week about what, for us, is a tragedy, the loss of a young man in the prime of life, as well as his mom. I have worked with young adults for years and can often spot those with significant potential. Ben was that person.  Only God knows what he could have done for the Kingdom had he lived for Jesus a full life. But I know this for certain—nothing he could have done would compare to what he is enjoying with Jesus. He is in the presence of Jesus,  What are a few things we might remember, those of us who knew Ben, or for that matter, any of us who lost someone special at what was (from our viewpoint) an untimely death?

 1. This is NOT our home. Nothing in this life can compare to life with Jesus in heaven.  If we know Christ and His redeeming love, nothing on this earth can compare. Truly, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived, what God has prepared for those who love Him.” (I Cor. 2:9 HCSB)

 2. There is no treasure, not even life itself, as great as God. We who sorrow for those taken early (from our perspective) can and must grieve.  That is both understandable and expected. But our grief finds solace in Christ.   When He is our great treasure, we can understand why believers would face martyrdom for His sake. When He is our treasure, we can have things, and even people, taken and we can still call Him blessed. Learn from Job, who lost all his children, his possessions, his position, his health, whose own wife encouraged him to curse God.  Yet Job could choose to worship God.  There is no treasure in this short life compared to Jesus.

 3. Life is a vapor. You can always make more money. You can make new friends. But you can never make more time. When this day is gone you will never see it again.  Why, young people in particular, would you waste your precious youthful years on silly high school dramas where friends get bent out of shape with each other over the most superficial of relationships?  Be loyal. Be honest. Stop hurting people with your words.  Stop being a user and a complainer if that is who you are. Grasp life while you have it, and live it to the full.  Do not miss your time to shine for Christ.  Before you know it you will be like me, 49, with a lot less energy (but I pray no less passion). While you have the strength of your youth, live passionately for Jesus. Learn much of His truth. Value integrity. Don’t waste your life.

 4. Pour your life into others. One thing I loved about Ben, and this fact I heard so much from others, is that he told people constantly that he loved them. “I love you” was a constant expression of his.  Spend a little more time caring about others and a little less about yourself. Spend a little more time focusing on how you can give your life to the cause of Christ and less on how people can serve you.  Say “I love you” a little more often, but only if you mean it.  There are enough users, let us be givers. I have found myself saying “I love you” a little more because of Ben.

 5. Finally, to summarize all the above: as you have breath, LIVE every day of your life.  On his Facebook Ben has an interesting phrase at the category of Religious Views: “Religion is for people without a cause,” he wrote. Ben lived as if life mattered. I decided years ago I was going to live every day of my life. Too many people, and far too many believers, live as if we are simply marking time, with little or no purpose. Live with a cause, a cause bigger than you, for things that matter for eternity.

William Wallace, who inspired the movie Braveheart, was attributed with this saying:

All men die. Not all men live.

Ben-Jammin lived every day of his life while he had breath. We should as well.

About Alvin Reid

Hi and welcome! I am Alvin Reid, a follower of Jesus Christ, husband to Michelle, father of Josh and Hannah, and minister of the gospel. I teach at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and Southeastern College at Wake Forest in NC. I love people and have been blessed to meet a lot. I live to equip a generation of young men and women to change the world, to advance the great movement of God in our time.For the Christ follower, life is a mission trip-take it!