I get emails, do you? I get lots-requests to speak at places, questions from students, testimonies from students (I never get tired of those), and many others. But there is one type of email I truly love the most. These are emails from strangers who read a book I wrote or heard me speak or just stumbled onto my website, and then who feel freedom, or maybe safety, to vent. Here is Ashley’s story in part, used with her permission. She is 24.

“Church and I just don’t mix. I did not grow up in church, but at 17 I came to an understanding of needing Christ to be personal in my own life. I was actually witnessing to a friend of mine one night when I decided that if i believe it enough to share the Gospel, then I need to believe enough to submit to Christ myself. The youth pastor that I knew at that time. . . and his family moved away, and I quickly attending church. I tried visiting churches near my school, but I noticed that no one was ‘open’ to a younger person.”I could tell you numerous stories of being snubbed while entering a church service, to where I just said ‘forget it’ and stayed out of church buildings for years. My last semester of school, I decided that I didn’t love God or believe the claims of Christianity; so for about a year I wrestled with the chaplain of my school on my beliefs. Eventually I came around to believing it again (I had to just accept the fact that I will never have 100% tangible proof, that faith has to play a key role, but that I can still believe wholeheartedly without the proof somehow). “I still have a problem with the church at large though. I am a questioner, and I noticed that most Christians and most churches do not like questions. They do not like to be challenged in their beliefs, and I always had questions, but again I was snubbed and people would not engage with me. Rather, they would tell me to ‘just believe it.’ Most people I meet in churches are fake, they are hypocritical (as every human being is, but ‘christians’ seem to be worse), and seem to be pretty legalistic. “I ended up connecting with a ministry here that was initially designed as a Church in the Park for homeless people to come and get a meal and hear the Word every Sunday. In my short time of knowing about the ministry, and just recently volunteering, I’ve decided that going to ‘church’ there is great. You know, the people are real, they will come to church high, drunk, there will be fist fights sometimes at church, but I love being there because I know people will be straight with me. I know that I can’t really ask any of my questions there, or engage in theological discussions with the fellow people there, but I do know that they will show me love, and I to them, and that I can be open and real, without the fear of being turned on.”

That is Ashley’s story in a nutshell in her own words. But then she offered a commentary about her generation, about what they seek: “I really think the people in my generation do what answers. We want a reason to be living. We want truth. I think we even ultimately believe there is absolute truth, but we are afraid of it, because of what it could mean for our lives. I think we also just want acceptance, encouragement, and belief in us that we can do things for God, even if we are ‘completely’ different from past generations. We don’t get much credit for our creativity, because it’s different. We want community, we long to be united with people, we thrive on relationships, but unfortunately people push us away, to where we do go to the online communities to have friends and grow because it’s safer there, we’re accepted no matter what, and unfortunately for us that helps us lack in interpersonal relationship skills, which creates another wall between us and other generations.”

You may argue that her personal story above is just one of many. But from my time around so many young adults, particularly the Dechurched (grew up in church, grew weary of the phoniness, no longer want to be a part of it), her commentary rings true.

Why did she contact me? Again her story:

“I don’t know how else to contact you (she emailed me through my website), but I read your book ‘Radically Unchurched’ this evening and I wanted to thank you for writing it. My mind has been stretched in numerous different directions now, and I am pumped up on figuring out how to reach people. I stayed out of churches for a long time because of the disconnect between me and them, and still to this day I don’t go to a ‘normal’ church, but reading your book has got me stirred on how to reach the unchurched, my passion is stirring more in how to do that effectively. I wanted to say thank you for writing this book, so that my heart could continue to be changed on how to reach people.”

Here is a young lady who is weary of the conventional, institutional church, but who has a passion to reach people that far surpasses most conventional believers. Maybe we can learn not to be so quick to dismiss the views or the passion of young adults like Ashley. Maybe they can teach those of us who so focus on WHAT to do to stop and think about the WHY.

About Alvin Reid

Hi and welcome! I am Alvin Reid, a follower of Jesus Christ, husband to Michelle, father of Josh and Hannah, and minister of the gospel. I teach at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and Southeastern College at Wake Forest in NC. I love people and have been blessed to meet a lot. I live to equip a generation of young men and women to change the world, to advance the great movement of God in our time.For the Christ follower, life is a mission trip-take it!