Comments on: A Word to Young Ladies from a Dad http://alvinreid.com/archives/347 equipping leaders in the coming generation to change the world Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:39:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Nay http://alvinreid.com/archives/347/comment-page-1#comment-39012 Nay Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:09:47 +0000 http://alvinreid.com/archives/347#comment-39012 Hii, i just wanted to say this article made me cry good tears. Im 21 year old college student. I lost my dad when i was 10 to drug overdose. Before that there were always fights with him my mom my older brothers my grandma, there wasnt much peace but my mom tried her best to raise us all in a christ honoring way. All my sibs have turned from God. Just me n mom remain. Im trying to hold on. I always felt my dad hated me, so i hated myself. Im a recovering cutter, im trying to continue my education. But i so deeply feel the pain of my childhood and loss of my dad STILL and im feeling kind of hopeless. I had stand in fathers in hs that saved me from dropping out. But ive lost them im on my own and the void is still there..i know i must depend on Jesus to fill it, but sometimes it isnt enough, i just want my dad back... But anyway, your words here helped lift a sunken spirit. Thank you . Hii, i just wanted to say this article made me cry good tears. Im 21 year old college student. I lost my dad when i was 10 to drug overdose. Before that there were always fights with him my mom my older brothers my grandma, there wasnt much peace but my mom tried her best to raise us all in a christ honoring way. All my sibs have turned from God. Just me n mom remain. Im trying to hold on. I always felt my dad hated me, so i hated myself. Im a recovering cutter, im trying to continue my education. But i so deeply feel the pain of my childhood and loss of my dad STILL and im feeling kind of hopeless. I had stand in fathers in hs that saved me from dropping out. But ive lost them im on my own and the void is still there..i know i must depend on Jesus to fill it, but sometimes it isnt enough, i just want my dad back… But anyway, your words here helped lift a sunken spirit. Thank you .

]]> By: Nomuzi Fikile Tshabalala http://alvinreid.com/archives/347/comment-page-1#comment-10609 Nomuzi Fikile Tshabalala Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:03:35 +0000 http://alvinreid.com/archives/347#comment-10609 I would to say thank you for the words of encouragment because really greowing upr without a father as a lady is one of the most difficult things in life. I want all the ladies who have fathers to appreciate them and embrace them everyday. The difficulties that a lady without a father faces are something that I do not wish upon any human being It is not nice to be played or taken advantage of just because there is no male figure inyour life to stand up for you but the beauty of ot all is that God is a father who never changes at any moment. I would to say thank you for the words of encouragment because really greowing upr without a father as a lady is one of the most difficult things in life. I want all the ladies who have fathers to appreciate them and embrace them everyday.

The difficulties that a lady without a father faces are something that I do not wish upon any human being
It is not nice to be played or taken advantage of just because there is no male figure inyour life to stand up for you but the beauty of ot all is that God is a father who never changes at any moment.

]]> By: Advice for young men and women « McGill’s Miscellaneous Meanderings http://alvinreid.com/archives/347/comment-page-1#comment-9517 Advice for young men and women « McGill’s Miscellaneous Meanderings Fri, 12 Sep 2008 01:07:28 +0000 http://alvinreid.com/archives/347#comment-9517 [...] are two articles you MUST take the time to read, especially if you are a parent or a teenager. A Word to Young Ladies from a Dad A Little Advice to Young [...] [...] are two articles you MUST take the time to read, especially if you are a parent or a teenager. A Word to Young Ladies from a Dad A Little Advice to Young [...]

]]> By: ALVINREID.com » Blog Archive » A Little Advice to Young Men http://alvinreid.com/archives/347/comment-page-1#comment-9513 ALVINREID.com » Blog Archive » A Little Advice to Young Men Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:00:23 +0000 http://alvinreid.com/archives/347#comment-9513 [...] time ago I wrote a little post called “Advice to Daughters from a Dad.”  In that I tried to encourage young ladies, especially those not close to their dads. The [...]

]]> By: Alvin Reid http://alvinreid.com/archives/347/comment-page-1#comment-7323 Alvin Reid Mon, 02 Jun 2008 12:07:45 +0000 http://alvinreid.com/archives/347#comment-7323 Jessica, thanks for your honesty. God is doing a new work in you. Your past does not have to predict your future! I will email more. Thanks. Jessica, thanks for your honesty. God is doing a new work in you. Your past does not have to predict your future! I will email more. Thanks.

]]> By: Jessica http://alvinreid.com/archives/347/comment-page-1#comment-7321 Jessica Mon, 02 Jun 2008 01:28:24 +0000 http://alvinreid.com/archives/347#comment-7321 Wow, I am amazed with how much this just spoke to me. I am 26 years old and until recently I haven't had much of a relationship with my Father, or my Step-father for that matter. My parents divorced when I was 4 years old. My father was abusive towards me and my mom and he was an alcoholic. My mom introduced a new guy, my step father, into the picture almost immediately after my parents were divorced. They have been together for almost 20 years and they are not married yet. I was only subjected to my fathers absenteeism and physical abuse every other weekend, but the emotional and verbal abuse I suffered at the hands of my step father continued all the time and still continues on occasion today. It wasn't until I was 21 years old that my father uttered those three words a daughter longs to hear. "I love you" was foreign to me and I didn't know what to think. I became a Christian when I was 20 years old. I knew relatively nothing about God and the fact that He loved me was overwhelming. I was searching for someone to love me. The broken relationships in my life were weighing me down and I was losing hope. I find it extremely difficult to forgive my father and step father for what they did and I know that I'll never get an apology from them. The scars that they have given me affect everything about my life. While I know that God is nothing like either one of my earthy fathers, I still cringe when I think of calling God, "Father". Over the past few years, something must have happend with my Dad. He is attending church regualrly, is heavily involved in his church and he is not the same. He doesn't drink anymore, his abusive tendencies are gone as well. He often calls my mom or my brother and complains to them that I don't call or visit him. I am a full time student and I work full time. I make an effort to do so. Whenever I see or talk to my Dad It is usually initiated be me. I just don't get why he feels like he can't do the same for me. Why is it so difficult? My step father has a loving appearance towards me, but he makes me feel 10 inches tall when I talk to him. He is an atheist, so I shouldn't expect him to be nice to me, right? You are totally right about the relationship thing. In October, I became romanically and intimately involved with a friend of mine from highschool - a married friend of mine. His wife had left him, so he was in the middle of a divorce. I knew it was wrong, but I pursued it anyways and boy did I ever feel horrible. He told me everything I wanted to hear. He said " I love you, I love everything about you, you are beautiful, I want to be with you and not my wife." He accepted me for me and he loved me. I gave myself to him and cried after. I felt horrible because I broke a promise that I made to God. Not too long after that, the guy said that nothing had been "real" to him and he didn't want to "lead me on". I was devastated. I truly cared for him and he obviously didn't care for me. I did the hardest Thing I ever had to do in my life and that was to tell him not to contact me ever again. (under the advice of my Pastor) I didn't realize it then, but now I can see how manipulative and controlling he was of me. I regret everything. I have two men, in their late 40's early 50's who I see as my father figures. When I spoke to them about all of this, first they talked to me like I was their daughter and told me not to beat myself up over it. They also said that I needed to forgive not only the guy that hurt me, but also my father and step father. (Neither of which know anything about what happened) I want to be married someday and have a family of my own, but I feel like it will never happen. I know all thingsn happen in God's timing, but this is a great fear of mine. I am also afraid of making the same mistake again with another guy and I don't want that to happen. I long to have a deep intimate connection with God, but I don't think I can until I can seperate Him from My earthly fathers and I don't think I have done that yet. I don't think it can be done without forgivness. Like I said, I want to be married someday and have my own family, but I am afraid that I will marry someone just like my Dad or Stepfather. My mom fears the same for me. Can you offer any advice for all of this craziness? Wow, I am amazed with how much this just spoke to me. I am 26 years old and until recently I haven’t had much of a relationship with my Father, or my Step-father for that matter. My parents divorced when I was 4 years old. My father was abusive towards me and my mom and he was an alcoholic. My mom introduced a new guy, my step father, into the picture almost immediately after my parents were divorced. They have been together for almost 20 years and they are not married yet. I was only subjected to my fathers absenteeism and physical abuse every other weekend, but the emotional and verbal abuse I suffered at the hands of my step father continued all the time and still continues on occasion today. It wasn’t until I was 21 years old that my father uttered those three words a daughter longs to hear. “I love you” was foreign to me and I didn’t know what to think. I became a Christian when I was 20 years old. I knew relatively nothing about God and the fact that He loved me was overwhelming. I was searching for someone to love me. The broken relationships in my life were weighing me down and I was losing hope. I find it extremely difficult to forgive my father and step father for what they did and I know that I’ll never get an apology from them. The scars that they have given me affect everything about my life. While I know that God is nothing like either one of my earthy fathers, I still cringe when I think of calling God, “Father”. Over the past few years, something must have happend with my Dad. He is attending church regualrly, is heavily involved in his church and he is not the same. He doesn’t drink anymore, his abusive tendencies are gone as well. He often calls my mom or my brother and complains to them that I don’t call or visit him. I am a full time student and I work full time. I make an effort to do so. Whenever I see or talk to my Dad It is usually initiated be me. I just don’t get why he feels like he can’t do the same for me. Why is it so difficult? My step father has a loving appearance towards me, but he makes me feel 10 inches tall when I talk to him. He is an atheist, so I shouldn’t expect him to be nice to me, right? You are totally right about the relationship thing. In October, I became romanically and intimately involved with a friend of mine from highschool – a married friend of mine. His wife had left him, so he was in the middle of a divorce. I knew it was wrong, but I pursued it anyways and boy did I ever feel horrible. He told me everything I wanted to hear. He said ” I love you, I love everything about you, you are beautiful, I want to be with you and not my wife.” He accepted me for me and he loved me. I gave myself to him and cried after. I felt horrible because I broke a promise that I made to God. Not too long after that, the guy said that nothing had been “real” to him and he didn’t want to “lead me on”. I was devastated. I truly cared for him and he obviously didn’t care for me. I did the hardest Thing I ever had to do in my life and that was to tell him not to contact me ever again. (under the advice of my Pastor) I didn’t realize it then, but now I can see how manipulative and controlling he was of me. I regret everything. I have two men, in their late 40′s early 50′s who I see as my father figures. When I spoke to them about all of this, first they talked to me like I was their daughter and told me not to beat myself up over it. They also said that I needed to forgive not only the guy that hurt me, but also my father and step father. (Neither of which know anything about what happened) I want to be married someday and have a family of my own, but I feel like it will never happen. I know all thingsn happen in God’s timing, but this is a great fear of mine. I am also afraid of making the same mistake again with another guy and I don’t want that to happen. I long to have a deep intimate connection with God, but I don’t think I can until I can seperate Him from My earthly fathers and I don’t think I have done that yet. I don’t think it can be done without forgivness. Like I said, I want to be married someday and have my own family, but I am afraid that I will marry someone just like my Dad or Stepfather. My mom fears the same for me. Can you offer any advice for all of this craziness?

]]> By: A Word to Young Ladies from a Dad « Complete in Him http://alvinreid.com/archives/347/comment-page-1#comment-7317 A Word to Young Ladies from a Dad « Complete in Him Sun, 01 Jun 2008 20:27:35 +0000 http://alvinreid.com/archives/347#comment-7317 [...] A Word to Young Ladies from a Dad [...] [...] A Word to Young Ladies from a Dad [...]

]]> By: Eddie http://alvinreid.com/archives/347/comment-page-1#comment-7298 Eddie Fri, 30 May 2008 23:11:03 +0000 http://alvinreid.com/archives/347#comment-7298 Thanks Dr. Reid! I read this and I forwarded it to my 17 year old daughter. You are Cooliosus Excellentus Maximus! LOL! Thanks Dr. Reid! I read this and I forwarded it to my 17 year old daughter. You are Cooliosus Excellentus Maximus! LOL!

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