Entitlementism

The other day I arose really early to catch a plane to Atlanta. Monday morning early is not the time to be in an airport. The whole planet seems to be flying somewhere then, and that morning the whole state of North Carolina appeared to be at RDU International. I flew to my meeting, an annual gathering of SBC evangelism leaders with the North American Mission Board. I would be sitting in meetings for two days. As I am the poster child for ADD, sitting in meetings has never been my forte. Add to the fact that I had been away most of the summer doing youth camps and missed my wife and you can see perhaps why I went to the meeting in a less than jovial mood.
Then it hit me: my sour disposition had nothing to do with the meeting or my personality. It even had little to do with the fact that I missed my family. I was after all going to an important meeting with some of the most godly, passionate people I know, and would see many great friends I rarely get to talk with, most notably my mentor and hero Dr. Roy Fish. Why was I so whiny?
I had succumbed to the cultural Christian disease I call Entitlementism. Okay, I made the word up, I confess. But you can get the idea. Entitlementism refers to a person who feels entitled to something regardless of whether they did anything to earn it. From something as broad as universal healthcare to feeling justified for stiffing the waiter if we didn’t like the meal we selected, entitlementism marks our age.
We have a problem with feeling we are entitled to things. I suffer from it. You likely do as well. We leave corporate worship on Sunday and head to a restaurant with that attitude. Just yesterday I took my daughter and a friend through a fast food drive-through. The lady in front of us had just been cut off by the person in front of her. Apparently that entitled her to give the driver in the car in front the finger, roll down her window and curse and scream, and then unload on the poor young lady at the window who had nothing to do with any of it. Amazing what we think we are entitled to do in this day.
But what troubles me most is the way Christians seem to feel entitled to things. Some (not most) pastors expect preferential treatment from businesses simply because they are a minister. Some church members expect preferential treatment because “my family has been in this church for years.” Some believers believe if they do something dramatic for the Kingdom, like give a large sum of money, they are entitled to more influence. Or worse, if they do something we would call valiant, like go on a mission trip, they are entitled to be treated as spiritual giants.
Let me be theological for a moment. We are entitled to something. We are entitled to hell and judgment. We are wicked sinners whose best righteousness is filthy rags. So let’s not be too hasty in demanding that for which we are entitled.
I teach amazing students and spend time with wonderful young people. The overwhelming majority love the Lord with a thankful heart and humility. But even they can give in to entitlementism. Students tend to say things like they earn an A but the professors give them anything else. A few students act as though they are entitled to get an A for showing up in class and smiling a lot ?. On a (thankfully) very few times students have mistaken my love for students and desire to hang out with them as entitlement to take advantage of the relationship. I once (only once) had a student try to go through one of my children to get me to cut them slack on an assignment. Let’s just say that student never did that again after we had a nice little talk. Another student (again only once) actually walked into class and kissed me on the cheek, thinking we were that chummy. I am only that chummy with Michelle and Hannah. He can be thankful I was shocked or he may have enjoyed a broken jaw! That student lasted about one more semester, for his entitlement-based immaturity hardly prepared him for a theological education.
I take students with me. Some travel just to hang out with their prof, and I love that. Some travel with me to play music and help lead worship. Others come along and promote Southeastern where I am speaking. I love this. What I really do not love, and in fact I loathe, is the rare time someone thinks because they travel with me that entitles them to do that till Jesus comes. Now, I don’t think traveling with Dr. Reid is particularly special so forgive me if I sound like it is, but if you are going to travel with me, it is not so you can drop my name or so you can earn frequent travelers points to earn some right to do so as long as you wish. I see taking people with me as a mentoring role, an extension of my teaching. That is why I do not take the same people typically for years on end. That is why I love to take people who are teachable and hungry to learn. That’s why I prefer to minister with and travel with Southeasterners. I see taking people with me as an extension of the classroom. And 98% of such trips have been wonderful. Just every now and then I feel a little pressure to do something with a particular someone because they think they earned something. No sir.
Maybe this bothers me because I am too guilty of entitlementism myself. I want to remind myself daily that God should cast me headlong into hell, and be grateful for salvation. That is enough. Every other “opportunity” simply reflects the grace of God. So when I am asked to speak somewhere I try to see it as an honor, and try to remind myself of times years ago when I wondered if anyone would ever be so foolish as to let me speak at some event they did, or why anyone would give a flying rip about my opinion on something. I do not believe I am entitled to be asked back to speak somewhere just because I have been asked in the past. That would be entitlementism. So…
If you are a preacher and are asked to preach, do not see it as an entitlement to be asked again. If you are a worship leader, same thing.
If you make a ball team do not assume that entitles you to playing time.
If you go to college do not think you are entitled to a grade you have not earned.
If you start a new job resist the attitude that you deserve a paycheck without working hard.
Resist entitlementism. Embrace gratitude.
Recently our dog we have had since we first moved to Wake Forest over twelve years ago, a golden retriever named Precious, had to be put down. She had come to the place where she could hardly walk. She was miserable. Yet in the last few months when Michelle and I sat on the back deck and watched the birds (we love to do that although our children think we are hopelessly middle aged), when we came outside she always got up and came to see us, wagging her tail. If we motioned her away she simply went away. She never acted as though she were entitled to be petted because she protected our home or because she had been so loyal for so many years. No, she simply loved to be around us. No entitlement mentality.
Sometimes I really miss that dog.
So I repented of my attitude in Atlanta and enjoyed the meeting and even learned some things. Amazingly, I did not even get bent out of shape when my flight home was delayed. I enjoyed watching a man older than me act like a child because apparently the airlines did not understood he was entitled to an on time departure even when the weather made such a departure extremely dangerous. Why did I avoid the attitude on my return when I had so embraced it on my departure? Because I replaced entitlementism with gratitude, and that made all the difference.