The other day I met some friends for lunch at a local restaurant. Our server at the restaurant that day has been my server before. In fact, I picked that restaurant because I wanted to see him and I knew he would be working (the food was good as well). The last time he served me I was able to share the gospel with him fully. He listened with conviction, and for a little while I thought he would turn to Jesus right there. He told us his brother is a believer and has told him the same message.
The thing that my server said held him back was his girlfriend. They had been together a long time and have a ten-year-old daughter. She is not interested in spiritual things, he told me, and he cares a lot for her. I encouraged him a lot without hammering him.
You see, I had talked to this server before more than once. He honestly was no longer my server.
He has become my friend.
In fact, when we came in yesterday, he smiled and came over to see me. He called me by my first name, and spent time talking with us beyond the normal server-patron chit-chat. He was ready for me when I asked how I could pray. He was pretty used to that. He stayed with us at the table while we prayed in fact. By the way, he also got a good tip, which is also part of our witness.
I asked him again to consider what we had talked about earlier. I do not let friends off the hook ☺. As we talked I asked him what hobbies he liked to do. He said he loved to fish, in fact he fishes in a lot of tournaments.
So my friend invited me to go fishing with him. And we are going soon. He and I in his canoe, he fishing for fish, me fishing for men..
Here is the thing I want you to get. I did not get to know him or talk to him only a a witnessing project. Don’t get me wrong,– I want nothing more than to see him follow Jesus. I believe he will. But I got to know him in the hopes we could become friends. He told his girlfriend about me and that I want to meet her. I expect I will before long—what friend keeps his friend from meeting his girlfriend?
Most of you who read this get it. Still, I think sometimes we are not great at sharing our faith simply because we are not great at making friends. If your church goes on regular visitation weekly or in some organized way, tell those going out that they are not going to make visits but to make friends. Our church does this. I have been many Wednesday nights this spring. Not a single person I have met showed any discomfort at our visit. Some I already knew, which is part of the great joy of being very involved in one’s community. Many were not followers of Christ, but seemed ready to make friends.
When people come to your services, if you welcome them publicly as our church does, do not refer to them as visitors unless you expect them only to visit. Welcome them as guests, as you would in your home. After all, the local church is your home, too.
I am getting off the road in the coming days. A LOT. I can hardly wait. I literally am counting the days. I want to stop feeling like a part time resident in my community. Why?
Because I like to make friends, lasting friends. Friends that one day I can take fishing with me ☺.
This is so on point. I’m currently working on a short ebook addressing this problem to help people learn to make friends. Because frankly, Christians aren’t that good at it considering how important it is in how we serve others.
-Marshall Jones Jr.